Category: Let's talk
How do you react when you get nervous in social situations? What do you do to keep yourself from being nervous? What social activities make you nervous?
Social situations don't make me nervous. I do remember taking a public speaking course in college, and I was nervous giving my first presentation because the class was enormous!!
i hate anything social, mainly big gatherings. but in those type of situations, i just look for the exit so i can escape
Well, i don't do well in big crowds, I become really quiet, and I just feel alone, even though there're a lot of people there. If I know one or two people, I'm ok though. I'm a shy person in general, so it's hard for me to let go and just be myself. I guess it's just any social function that makes me nervous and shy, although once I feel comfortable and stuff, I can be rather fun and crazy! :)
I totally agree with the last post. I also have a hearing los that is getting worse. I find it hard to distinguish the person who is talking to me from everyone else in a crowd. As the last post said, I'm shy, but can get really sill and crazy in the right situation.
Lou
I'm not afraid of social situations at all. Ever since I was a baby, I could just go to anyone and feel comfortable and start interracting with them.
Now, if a place is very tightly crowded, I do feel overstimulated, and that has nothing to do with anything social. That is my Asperger's Syndrome, which is a form of Autism. If a place is tightly crowded, I feel really, um, well, like I'm going to melt. And the smaller the crowded place, such as in a very crowded women's rest room, the worse it is for me. If it is a really big place, then I do not care as much because I don't feel so up against them and feel like i can move if i need to, though, i still dislike it. i hope i explained this right.
I am very quiet around a lot of people and only talk more when there are just two or three people.
Being in a crowd makes me self-conscious. I'm not really nervous, just uncomfortable. For me, it has to do with being totally blind. When I had a good amount of usable vision, I could be happy watching people in a crowd, and if I needed to get up and move around, it was easy. Now I feel like I can't get up and move around without bumping into things and people so I stay in one place which doesn't really allow for much socializing. Also, when I could see, it was easy to look around and make eye contact with people, even strangers. But without being able to do that, I just feel isolated. Sometimes the person next to me will get up and walk away without saying anything, and I find myself talking to an empty chair. It's embarrassing and humiliating wondering how many people witnessed that.
aww'ww, agreed, Becky
Agreed, Becky also. The other thing is when there's food available. I don't like buffet lines even when there's someone to help me. Also, I don't like holding a plate, drink and cane and standing around munching. I just go hungry in those situations. Its easier than making a mess. In general, the older I get, the more like a hermit I become. My wife is the social director in our house. I often say that when I retire, I want to move to an accessible cave on a bus line.
Lou
I am a very social and outgoing person, but I intensely dislike large groups of people. In these situations, I just indulge in one activity, such as dancing, or just talk to and stick with one person or several people. I do fine just by myself though. I like to stand out, but not to fit in. In large groups of people, I don't have trouble fitting in, but I choose to seclude myself or stand apart from the rest of the crowd or to make myself obscure.
I definitely like smaller groups. I totally agree with all of lebra lady's post.
i love small groups say 15 or less. anything more than that and I'm all at sea. libra lady i totally agree with you. lout same goes. if i'm in a big group where we have to stand and eat and drink, i get some sort of nonalcoholic drink and skip the food. it's easier to manage and keeps the cotton mouth caused by my extreme nerves at bay. it is hard to find people to talk with too. i like sit down things because at least there are those at the table with whom to socialize.
I am outgoing and friendly. For those posters who are nervous about social situations, just try to be yourself. If you know a few people in a small group, engage in the present conversation. It's always fun to meet new people with at least one other person. I like to engage in a common activity like trivia (which I totally rock at). Up until awhile ago, a group of close friends and I would engage in a trivia contest at our favorite local bar. Activities like this are always really fun, and can be a great way to meet new people.
When I do get to talking with a person, I'm good, but it's sometimes hard to keep the conversation going. I guess it's that I feel like I have to know something to talk about; it's hard to just casually talk about whatever. That's why it's usually easier for me to talk with a more outgoing person. I usually don't mind though, because I don't expect/look for people to hang out with unless I already know them. So generally, this isn't a problem for me personally, but for the job I want of helping people, I probably do need to be more outgoing. When I do need/want to socialize I do agree with the feeling alone when in a crowd, especially if it's big. The situations that make me most uneasy are family get-togethers (when I didn't bring anything else to do), concerts, and situations where it is expected that we socialize (like luncheons and socializing parts of conferences and things like that. I'm not too crazy about the last thing, but I would want to try to be more comfortable at concerts and family get-togethers. Withe the concerts, I guess I feel weird because I can't see what everyone else is doing and I feel too self-conscious to do my own thing (not that anyone there would care), but yeah. And in the family get-togethers, I guess I feel like I don't have anything in common with most of them because everyone else seems to be in a relationship, have a job or kids, or are busy running around and playing something, and it could also be that I don't think most of them know what they can do/talk about with me either. There are some that I do end up spending time with though, and lately I've been bringing Uno or playing cards or something, so sometimes that's something to do whether by myself or whoever wants to play.
it's sad when the family is one of the places where we feel the least comfortable. after my mom dayed my dad remarried a wonderful woman with four adult sons. I was also an adult. each of them is lovely by themselves, but when you put the whole pack together it is toxic. the men sit on one end of the room talking about how they did dirty in their work or hunting and fishing. the ladies sit at the other end talking bout mackup and dissing their husbands. jim and i sit in the middle going i wanna go home. so i don't do family gatherings any more. having them over individually is fun and i get to know their kids and wives and it is much much better.
I love my family, but socializing with them at a gathering of some sort, whether it would be a dinner or something else, is quite a different story. It feels to me like even though they don't say so, and never would, anyone under thirty is excluded from the conversation. My sister always brings her mp3 player, which I would do, but I feel really awkward listening to music during a social gathering, mainly because I'm always wondering if and when someone is talking to or about me.
With friends, and in college, when I'm around people a little closer to my age, I do a lot better, and can usually strike up a good conversation, but like many of the previous posters, I also strongly dislike large crowds, unless I know most or all of the people in that large crowd.